Struggle

I’m struggling today more than normal. I think everything is catching up to me. I thought I was fine, completely fine actually. I’m not struggling as much as others so I don’t want to necissarily announce that I’m struggling, but I am. I’ve been thinking a lot about my brothers that I haven’t met. I check up on Facebook to look at their pictures every now and again. One of them has a kid now and I found myself crying because I might never know that child,yet he is my nephew. The other brother needs a lot of help, mental illness rules his life. So I just traded up at the thought of them and my bio dad, also ruled by mental illness. I try not to think about it much, but lately everything has been a lot. Me and the guy I’ve been sleeping with for the past 3 years haven’t slept together in almost 2 months. I miss him, even though I shouldn’t. I’m struggling in some classes. I feel my own mental health deteriorating but I can’t let it. I have to be the strong one. So here I am and here I go.

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