Too much

I’m really bad at handling hightened emotions. When I feel them I usually run but I’m trying to get better. Me and my sorority sister were talking last night about the guy I’m talking to and I realized I don’t need to be talking to him or pursuing anything with him and it’s making my emotions run crazy. I know it’s the right thing to do. We never really go out on dates just hang out at his place, which is fine because he’s struggling financially but we could at least go for a walk in the park. Him struggling financially shouldn’t be a problem but it is. I grew up struggling and I don’t want that for me (even though I’ll be very successful) or my kids. He makes financial risks that he just can’t afford to make when he can barely pay rent. I need emotional stability, I need someone to feed into me emotionally like I feed into them. Emotions make him uncomfortable and if i ever bring something emotional up he dismisses it. He’s also against the LGBTQ community… my community. When I told him it was my community, he said “not really because you’re just a half queer.” He said this because I’m bisexual but it still really hurt my feelings and when I told him that, he tried to justify it instead of just say he was sorry and try to see things from my point of view. Bad thing is I’m taking him to formal next week and I definitly want a date but I don’t want to call things off right after and be that terribly person who just keeps him around for a date. This is way too complicated for me. 


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